I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
