so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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