she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
