i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
