are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
