We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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