um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
