I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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