I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
