he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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