The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
whose parrot is this?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
