Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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