we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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