If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I supernannyed him into submission
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
