Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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