I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
