I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
