He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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