i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Randomize
