with your own penis?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
