I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
