yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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