I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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