4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
