That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
