why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
