i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
