I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
