i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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