Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
