Porn is love you can see.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
