Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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