At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
