I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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