I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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