I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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