your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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