well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
