fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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