last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
