i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
