..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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