Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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