When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
