We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
