is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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