I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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