Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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