16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
