You're so nebulous sometimes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
