At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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