Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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