There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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